Going from friends to dating back to friends
I’m not sleeping with my ex because I want hassle-free sex.I’m sleeping with a person whose company I actually enjoy—I want his pillow talk as much as his foreplay.I’m not gonna lie, being friends with an ex isn’t easy.
Then things got physical, and apparently The Ex and I aren't alone.“Young adults have friends with benefits increasingly because they’re not interested in any type of commitment,” Laurie Sloane, L. “But at the same time, people want to be connected to another person in some limited way.”Bingo. Removing commitment from the equation can add an element of liberation in the bedroom and beyond.“People can learn a lot from playing house,” Brenda Lewis, L. “You practice with a safe person, and then you can hopefully put on your training wheels and go out into the real world.”Luckily in today’s modern era of dating, there's no shortage of potential sex partners.
Well one of my exes is actually now one of my best friends, as well as my business partner.
That’s right, I’m talking about Eric Charles, our beloved relationship guru.
We dated for a short stint two years ago, and after each going on to have a few more relationships and a lot more life experience, we reconnected. With both of us in the midst of massive career and potential location changes, commitment is not a card either of us is willing to play at the moment.
My former boyfriend/current lover—who has graciously allowed me to dissect the nature of our friendship in the name of journalism (thanks, mate! I expected experts to tell me that this type of interaction was probably unhealthy and definitely doomed, to hear a lot of “it will never work,”and “you’re fooling yourselves,” and “someone is going to fall in love.” But, according to them, there can actually be a lot of benefits to having a friend with benefits. W., a New York City-based therapist specializing in all things sex and dating, tells SELF. ”Ideally, your FWB is someone you’re comfortable with, but since you’re not planning for a white picket fence future, you don't feel the need to be impressive all the time.
This arrangement would generally be called a friend with benefits, or a fuck buddy, or a romantic friendship, or perhaps even a relationship—with “no strings attached.” But let’s be real: There are always strings, aren’t there?